How to Keep Your Sanity During the Early Years of Motherhood.
February 25, 2021
It’s Saturday morning, my morning to sleep in, but with my toddler rolling around in my bed all night and my preschooler up wetting his bed then wanting to sleep in our bed because little brother is then fighting both boys to sleep in their own beds because they’re fighting who is going to sleep next to mom who is doing her utmost to sleep despite begin kicked in the head… my morning to sleep in became my morning to get 5 hours of sleep instead of three and a half.
Yeah, it was time for a mecation, long over due in fact.
Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is fulfilling and I cherish it deeply knowing full well there are many who are denied the blessing of children so I say this with the utmost respect to anyone battling fertility; sometimes you need a break so your children and husband can live to see another day.
This past weekend was one of those mecation times. I told my husband he can take the boys anywhere he likes, it just can’t be home, and he can’t come back till Sunday. That weekend was the saving grace to my sanity, and I did all the things. I wrote, painted, danced, took a bath, shot a scene, screamed, journaled, slept in!, had my morning coffee on my patio in peace and quiet, I even came up with what will be my online course I offer others like me who want to live their best, healthiest life but are unsure of how to get unstuck in different areas of their life.
It was a fruitful weekend that I hope everyone takes when their feeling like pulling their hair out, because let’s face it, we’ve all been there and needed our space to reconnect with ourselves. The hard part is, most of us don’t ask for the help to take that time for YOU.
We think it’s selfish or we don’t want to put the burden on anyone else or we don’t think we deserve the time alone because we haven’t “done” anything to earn it. Listen to me carefully…
It is not selfish, it is essential to your survival.
It is not a burden to ask for help, there are many people who would love to help (or obligated to share “the burden” like your spouse) when you are in a time of need.
you deserve all you wish and dream of in this life. Look in the mirror and realize you are rarer than rare; you have never been nor will you ever be again. There are things you are meant to do here on this earth and in order to accomplish these things you must be and feel your best. You can only feel your best when you give yourself space and time to reflect, create, and rest.
We put these unnecessary terms into our lives that aren’t real, they only seem real because we place them there with our limiting thoughts of we can’t, we shouldn’t, we don’t deserve. The reality is we can, we should, and we DO deserve everything we can dream up. It’s not “them” that place these terms in our heads, it’s us, ourselves.
we need to remember we’re on the same team. Our bodies, minds, and hearts are all on the same team. Force them to work together, YOU, the conductor of your body, the conductor of your mind, the holder of your heart, you CAN and you must if you are to be and make anything out of this life.
Moms often take up the role as martyr because we truly believe it is our job to give up our lives for our children. I admit I used to believe this to be true myself, but it’s a false belief. If we become the martyr what are we teaching our children who are watching us? Children imitate what we do more than what we say. If we go for what we want and fight for ourselves and yes damn it, sometimes that means fighting for time to just be left alone; it will give our children the same courage to fight for themselves and their dreams too.
So I’ll leave it with a question for you to chew on:
What are you teaching your children by the actions you are doing and creating for yourself?
Mind you for those reading and are not parents, there are others who look up to you. Everyone has younger siblings, coworkers, cousins, nieces and nephews, friend’s children who watch you (and believe me they watch EVERYTHING) so don’t think your actions do not matter. They all matter, for those who see you, and those who are yet to see you.
Till next time, promise me you’ll take a mecation and do all the things, or none of them, just because.